08 September 2022

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How to deal with adversity

Author: Luigi Campopiano

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Joan Marques, professor and dean of the School of Business at Woodbury University, said: "When it rains, the water hits us hard. Perhaps the art of life is to convert difficult moments into great experiences: we can choose to hate the rain or dance in it."

My advice is to dance in the rain. In life, some things happen around us and things that happen to us. What matters is our choice of how to react. This reflects ancient wisdom that dates back to the philosopher Epictetus, who lived 2,000 years ago. Epictetus was a Roman slave of Greek origin. He became a great philosopher and teacher, so he appreciated that he was eventually granted freedom. Although she did not write down his teachings, luckily, Arriano, a student, did it for him. The literal phrase that Arriano handed down to us is: "What matters is not what happens to you, but the way you react."

The fundamental question that cannot be avoided is: "How do you intend to react?" This is the question that people always want to avoid answering. They do not want to remember the responsibility for the decisions that have led them to the failures and mistakes they currently suffer. They do not have to admit that they have been a part of the problem with their insufficient response to situations. We all know people who can point to an event in their life, usually in the past, that they cling to for every problem as an excuse for their failure in life.

What's troubling is the ease with which some people react by blaming others instead of admitting a mistake - that story is old and over, so why are they still holding on to the past instead of reacting differently to move forward?

We all love to blame others for our problems because it seems to relieve us of the responsibilities we should take, but blaming others doesn't solve anything in our life. If they could accept the truth that the problem is not what happens to them but how they react, it could heal their heart and mind and change their life forever.

Many refuse to change their history because their fragile existence would be exposed as a fraud if they admitted that how they reacted matters more than what happened to them. Too many good people choose to live an angry and unstable life that will affect their health, family and future over time. This would not happen if they took responsibility for life instead of blaming others.

The truth is, it's not what happens to us but what we do in response that makes a difference in how our life works.